Tough needs to be going ... before I sleep!

Friday, November 21, 2008

When Going gets tough, the tough gets going! The going is getting tough; I am not sure if the tough will get going at once. I am in the late twenties now – half of my life is gone now and I have not done anything great – not yet! When will I do that ‘something’? How will it be done? Will it be done or will it happen? When will it happen?

Well, too many questions to (en)counter now. Too much of question marks all around me – in office, at home and everywhere else. I have got questions to answer before I sleep. I know; but then, working for 9 hours in the night shifts with an additional 3 hours of travel – one needs to sleep – I need to sleep. I don’t get enough, but when I do, I ensure to have my pillows all around me. There was this incidence when my wife came back home that day and I was still sleeping. Looking at the bed, she asked, “are you sure, that you were (only) sleeping?” Well, I was sleeping – trust me. I could do nothing else that time, once I reach home after office at dawn. All my tiredness and my anxiety end when I hit the sack. The time is odd – I understand, but then, this is the time when the Americans sleep. They are the ones who pay for my living – so, I have to (literarily) sit when they do; stand when they do and sleep when they sleep. No worries.

Self Satisfaction is factional. It has to indulge your family and the people sharing time with you. In my case, family means my wife, as my parents stay far from me. I spend the lion’s share of my day with my colleagues in office. So, all these people contribute to my satisfaction – factional satisfaction. You say you do not need so many people around you to be satisfied. May be you would go to Himalayas – but you would not be satisfied if people concerned to you are not. You can avoid your thoughts to roam around your family only if your family is satisfied and can go on without you. You will not be happy if they long for you and you pine for them in return – not even if you are in the Himalayas and you want to become a sage.

Where am I? No, I am in the same track. I was telling that with all these questions revolving around me, how can I be satisfied? I cannot be. And till I am (read my soul is) not satisfied, I cannot relax, think, dream or act with discretion. To do these one needs peace of mind. Peace, I get only when I am among the pillows in my bed – fast asleep. Well, I can practice Self Control – actually, one has to practice that. Without ‘Self – control’ one would not be able to relax, think, dream or act with discretion when there is no peace of mind.

As the heading of the blog says, ‘I can and I will’ find peace of mind someday and will answer all the queries and I will be happy! Till then – “thanks to my pillows.”